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MIKE AND BoB
(Mike and BoB are at the DMV ready to take the big driving test! Mike gets into the passenger side with BoB in the back.)
Judge: Ok, you can go ahead and start the car.
Mike: I think first I'll start the car. (Turns the key and revs up the engine, then pulls onto the road)
Judge: Ok, make a left up here.
BoB: I'm huuuuungry!
Mike: Hey shut up back there!
Judge: Turn left!
Mike: Get off my back woman! (He squeals to the left)
Judge: That's minus two points for tire damage.
Mike: But they're my tires!
BoB: Sounds like the engine has a rattle.
Mike: He knows what he's talking about you know, he was almost voted employee of the month at Auto Partz a few years ago!
BoB: Aaaand I was nominated for most trips to the restroom during work hours!
Judge: That's minus ten points for failing to stop at a red light.
Mike: Oh I'm sorry, I thought that light just meant it was on.
BoB: Yeah that Auto Partz, what a place huh? Last weekend we got some auto parts in!
Judge: Ok.
Mike: You never told me that! I thought I told you to stop keeping things from me!
BoB: I'm independent, let me lead my own life!
Judge: Ok, pull over and stop the car.
Mike: But I'm having so much fun! (The car runs out of gas)
BoB: I forgot to tell you, Auto Partz stopped selling powdered gasoline.
MY STORYBOOK
One time I threw a brick into a car. It was my car. THE END
One time I was baking at 350 degrees but after an hour I realized I don't have a stove. THE END
One time I broke 14 of my fingers. I didn't know it then, but that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. THE END
BELCH IN BRITAIN (CONT.)
Large Man: Who are you calling big?
Belch: Oh I'm sorry, hello Mr. Ben.
Large Man: You will address me as Packett.
Belch: Ok, where would you like to be sent?
Packett: You're coming with me.
Packett leads Belch into an alleyway where a few rough looking men stand smugly.
Belch: Is this the chess club?
Packett: You're one of us now. You will obey my every command.
Belch: Sounds like a pretty boring chess game...
Packett: Listen! You go over to Hazel's Milk and Drug store and fetch us some pills.
Belch: Alright, what name is the prescription under?
Packett: It's not a prescription! And you're not going to pay.
Belch: Ooooh. I got you, I got you.
(TO BE CONCLUDED)
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