FUN FACT
Fun fact: The source for this page is actually just !---MATT DAMON FOR CONGRESS---! repeated over and over. I'm not sure how it is working.
Fun fact: The Reading Railroad was once called "Pensacola Station" in the original Monopoly.
Fun fact: Using chopsticks greatly increases the time it takes to feed your dog.
Fun fact: In Finland, the slogan "Diamonds Are Forever" is used by a salmon company.
Fun fact: The prototype chalkboard was made of chalk. This idea was scrapped later.
Fun fact: If you count the head as a leg, spiders have nine legs, not eight.
BELCH IN BRITAIN
Belch Smith, courageous news reporter, awakens in front of a large clock.
Belch: Ugh...guh... Where am I? The last thing I remember doing is questioning that angry donkey about the missing tablecloth for that scoop! But why am I telling myself this? I know already.
Belch begins to wonder across the street, paying no mind to the cars that are skidding and wrecking to avoid hitting him. After three minutes, he makes it across.
Belch: Hey! That lady has a rebel flag on her pocketbook! I bet she's one of those good ol' boys from the south I've always heard about!
Belch approaches the young woman.
Belch: Howdy, ya’ll! Get her done! I was wonder if you could let me borrow your pickup truck to get back to the good ol US of A, where dreams come true and if you don’t live in Los Angeles, you live to see the next day.
Lady: Excuse me? I don’t have a truck, and what is “howdy”?
Belch: Oh so you’re a sophisticated hick! Yes, that makes sense, you’re not wearing a potato sack today. I guess it’s Sunday.
Lady: What? You're not from around here, are you? You might want to bugger off to Big Ben.
Belch: Big Ben? Yes, yes...Only Big Ben will know how to get me home.
Belch travels over the sidewalk a little longer and stops in front of a large man in a leather jacket.
Belch: Big Ben? Is it really you?
TO BE CONTINUED
MIKE AND BoB: WHAT ARE THEY REALLY THINKING?
Mike: Good morning BoB! (Where am I?)
BoB: Hey there buddy! (This guy needs a shower..no wait that's me)
Mike: I'm going to the store to get a few things, need anything? (If you say even one thing I'll punch your throat)
BoB: Yeah! Well..no, not really. (You'd probably get the wrong brand of Rolaids)
Mike: Hey what's this blue stuff all over the floor? (I hope I can eat it)
BoB: Oh, the lava lamp must've fallen over. (I hope I can eat it)
Mike: So are you going to clean it up? (Don't say later)
BoB: I'll do it while I eat this Now & Later.
Mike: I told you not to say later!
BoB: No you didn't!
Mike: Let's fight about it!
BoB: No, I'm anti-war. (I don't stand a chance)
Mike: Fine, then I'm leaving. (I bet the handicap spots at the store are already taken by now)
BoB: Can I come with?
Mike: Well, I guess. (But you're not coming back with me)
BoB: Alright! I can see if they have Crank on DVD! And Scrubs season six! Oh, there I go thinking out loud.
MY E-MAILZ
TO: KrazyQ
FROM: Vince@ColonPenn.mop
My sources say you're about to die. I suggest you get Colon Penn life insurance so that your loved ones will make some major phat cash when you keel over! Just come to our website and sign your soul over to us, then your family will be insured for years to come!
TO: KrazyQ
FROM: Warden@PlutoFederalPrison.kix
Do you want to go to Pluto? Sign up today and you'll be on the first shuttle! Trials are every tuesday, make sure to prepare for the adventure into the abyss!
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