Fat and Angry

MY EXPERIMENT

Day 1, 12:00 PM

Since I accomplished my first experiment so well, I've decided to start another one! I'm going to set a tree on fire and see how long it takes someone to notice!

Day 1, 12:02 PM

Experiment over!! (Police sirens roar in the distance)

THE SOUP KITCHEN

Combover Carl: Who ordered chicken soup?
Customer: I did, you moth ball!
Combover Carl: Just for that I'm taking the fly out!
Customer: Curse you and your mangy dog!
Combover Carl: I don't have a dog.
Customer: Then what's that?
Combover Carl: That's the manager! Get out!
(Carl throws him out the window)
Manager: Why didn't you use the door?
Combover Carl: It's locked.

MY LUNCH MENU

MAIN MENU

Velcro Fishsticks

or

California Candle Wax
SIDE DISHES

Salt Pudding

Spare Tire (Limit 2)

Carpet Square

LIFESTYLES OF THE SELFISH AND HOMELESS

Morning comes early for young Phil, who wakes up at dawn every day to start his angry begging. Phil gets lots of things in his begging cup. Quarters, dimes, pennies, plane tickets, and shampoo samples are some of the things you may find. In a recent interview, Phil explained how he sets small goals for himself. First were some shoes, then a new wig, then a wicker chair which he now proudly calls home. As unbelievable as it may sound, Phil has a girlfriend. Silvia, who owns an underwear factory on Death Mountain, claims that she often dates Phil. She said that aside from him stealing her purse on every date, Phil is quite a gentleman. So if someone were to look at Phil, they would see a dirty, stupid old man, but we'll let you decide if that's true. THE END